i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
