Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
