i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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