so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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