Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize