do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
