I am puke
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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