You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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