Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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