pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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