its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
