He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize