This is not my ceiling
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
