i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
