Where are you?
In a non slutty way
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
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