you would pick up someone in the library
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
