sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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