i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Please, let me fuck your mom
She said her name was "party"
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
