Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
