I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
