This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
