The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
