and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
