As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
