Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
