Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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