You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
