Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I touched a dick in church today
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
