i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
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