hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
