If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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