he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
