Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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