Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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