Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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