the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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