I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
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and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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