I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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