this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
be right there i have to get my cape
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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