so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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