We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
