where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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