i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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