But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You ate ashes out of my bong
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
