Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
