True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
