it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
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I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before