He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
