She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.