my vag is so smooth its legendary
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
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Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
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Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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