I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
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This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
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GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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