There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I want to make a zoo with you.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
