You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
