Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
