M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
