Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
There r osticjed everywhere
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Randomize
