Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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