I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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