i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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