i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
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I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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