HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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