So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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